It took a while for me to totally get it. I mean when you hear the word "communication", you think of all the different methods, from having face to face conversations, to phone conversations, text messages, emails or whatever form of messaging there is. But then,there comes that time when none of this suffices, that point when it seems a lot is beingsaid and yet nothing is communicated.
When a friend of mine called me sometime last week, practically complaining about how her very loquacious boyfriend seemed to not be speaking to her and how much she felt like it had everything to do with something she had said and all that, my first thought was to hang out with them and probably find out what the fuss was about because she can be one heck of a drama queen.
A weekend hang out with them was all I needed to understand what the problem was. Experience has indeed taught me that words sometimes are too weak to convey messages of the heart. A lot of emphasis have been laid on those five letters that we have become ignorant of the power outside words, the power of silence.
I know you must be dying to know what I did for my friend...lol...I said 'Just kiss him.' Well...yeah...I literally said it and before you go all fingers in the air...eyes rolling and all,I've got a few secrets to share with you.
Kissing is one act that has been accorded a little less respect than it really deserves and even though there are scientific facts to shed more light on the act of kissing do you know that a lot can be said through a kiss? You want to know who's keeping what secret from who in a relationship, share a kiss. You're not sure about how he or she feels about you after a break up...share a freaking kiss!
Let the tongues meet, let the tongues communicate in unspoken language. Now this has nothing to do with the look in their eyes or the movement of hands...its just a kiss that isn't just a kiss. The past, present and future of a relationship can be made known in a kiss. Now before you play the kissing prowess card, hash-tag I-am-not-a-good-kisser, let me also add that kissing to understand and be understood, to communicate and be communicated with, has nothing to do with skills. All you need is to be attentive and just let the act of kissing answer all your unanswered questions.
Kissing allows both parties to be drawn into each other's vulnerable personal space. So what does that tell you? It simply means even when a person fakes a kiss, you can taste its ingenuity. I would really not want to burden you with the psychological thesis and all but hey...give it a shot. Yes, you can say you kiss him or her on a regular but then you hadn't read this piece and what you know now, were not known to you then.
So is there anything you have been dying to know about your partner, is he not communicating certain feelings properly, or are you in doubt as to how he feels about you? Then go for it, tell him or her ...straight up... 'Kiss me' and when they do, you would know if he lied about that thing you just discussed or not.
Now this is not for the weak at heart because what you might find out may make or break you. This is also not for partners who haven't been tested, be sure your partner has an 'all clear' medical history. This is not also for the shallow minded as you need 100% attention. You have to be able to enjoy the moment with your heart and also retain enough of it for analysis by your head...Yep!
After all had been said and done...'kiss me' is the magic word.... #winks.
By MAUREEN ALASA