'It's not you, it's me'..for those of us who have been there, done that, we know just how deep those words seem to be. It is the perfect break up line because it leaves you feeling important and also confused. A guy or lady breaks up with you saying those exact words and you find yourself drowning in the guilt of 'I should have done more.'
But then what really do the words mean? Is it really a noble move by a lover who would rather walk away than see us hurt? or is it just a pathetic excuse to have your partner respectfully kick you to the curb while he/she gets it off somewhere else and with someone else?
Look, two forks can come to dinner and I still couldn't care less about the underlying meaning of the all too popular break up line...that's right! because it is just a dumb way to play on your intelligence. Someone tells you it's over and the only explanation they give you is 'It's not you, it's me'?...Lol...it is the height of ridiculousness and I honestly think no one should allow themselves the burden if unravelling an inexistent mystery. So instead of trying to understand, how about we look at just how great those words ought to make us feel :
Anyone who cannot stick it out with you isn't worth your time. So when they say it's not you it's them, you should just smile and say 'thanks for the heads up' because you may not know it but you most certainly dodged a bullet.
When you watch someone ruin all of your emotional investment and still are too pathetic to come up with a better reason, can't you just see how much balls they lack?
I mean if you are so full of crap, it shouldn't be so hard to say so right?
Except you have got some psychopathic proclivities, why then would anyone ever stay with you in the first place if you weren't worth at least an hour of their 24hours?
Look on the bright side, if he /she is willing to admit that they are the reason your relationship should end, then nobody needs so much condescension and low self esteem in their lives right?
Hey, you sure must have a self esteem large enough to consume all the guts they ever had...so see it as respect and dwell on just how important you are rather than let your hurt ego talk you into feeling small.
Finally, I know that gnawing sense of curiosity, that thing eating you up inside and seeking closure in form of more explanation, but hey, don't give in. He/ she owes you more than that dumb***one liner...yes! but if they don't provide more, let the burden be theirs not yours, let karma eat them up while you focus on moving on!
Most importantly, once in your life you find that you are a victim of the pathetic 'It's not you, it's me' break up line and in as much as the pointers above should help make us feel good about ourselves in lieu of breaking down, it doesn't make the lines suck less...so what then should you rather say? and as the victim what line would you prefer to hear in such a situation?
Watch this space as I explore thought provoking issues every week, with the carefreeness of that Naija Chick you love...lol...So remember to register and be a part of The Beat Fm family to join the conversation for free access to the comment session...bueno suerte!
Written by Maureen Alasa